


proliferation

by willowcabins



Series: purim gifts ficlets [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Discussion of PTSD, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6303220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcabins/pseuds/willowcabins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trish finds herself at the VA as she tries to help Jess</p>
            </blockquote>





	proliferation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seekingferret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingferret/gifts).



There is a difference between accepting her behaviour and condoning her behaviour, the woman says gently, and she smiles at Trish. Trish looks at her, and wishes she could spill about everything. She wants this woman to understand that Jess isn't just another victim of violent ptsd; this woman is judging Jess right now and it's not fair. _So what_ that Jess is not being a good person right now; she deserves not to have to be a good person. Trish grits her teeth.

"I want to be there for her," she says instead. The woman smiles at her and starts listing Trish the medication she should recommend to Jess. Trish leaves frustrated and tense, and walks straight into the VA. She doesn't mean to, but she sees the building as she exits this unfamiliar office, and she decides to go there instead. It makes intuitive sense for her that they would understand.

She asks to talk to someone, and someone named Sam approaches her. "How can I help you?" He asks with a kind smile. Trish looks at him, takes a deep breath, and begins describing Jess.

"I have this friend," she starts, "and she just came back." In this context, he will think this war and violence, and he will translate what she means for his own good. Trish has thought about it as a war, often, and likes thinking about it as a million battles that Jess lost. She may have won in the end, but every lost battle, every second during which she was paralysed and couldn't fight, still weighs on her. The man, Sam, just nods. Trish takes another deep breath, and then quietly says "she's unpredictable. Violent. Hates herself. Drinks too much. Shouts at me. Throws up in the sink. She can tell she's bad for me, and it's making it worse. I want to be there, but I feel like the only way to help her is to be gone. Is that true?" Sam sighs.

"As you probably already know, your friend is suffering from very severe PTSD," He says with a frown. "Have you tried bringing her to a psychiatrist?" Trish laughs, though there is no humour in it.

"So many times. She hated all -"

"Send her to this man," he interrupts, scrawling a name on a card. "He helped me."

"You?" Trish asks, surprised. This man does not look battlescared.

"Yes," he says, looking Trish in the eye steadily. "If he can't help, we also have support groups here." Trish snorts and plays with the business card without looking up at Sam.

"She would hate those," she admits quietly. Sam laughs too this time.

"Most soldiers do," he tells her cheerily. "We usually get most of them with the free lunch we serve with those groups." Trish smiles a bit.

"That sounds fair," she says. 

"Does your friend have a place to stay?"

"She's living with me right now." Sam nods.

"I know you probably think this is best for her, but you should really help her find her own place." Trish chews her lip. The woman said that too. She chews her lip/

"Really?" She asks.

"Having her own space, rather than depending on yours, will help," Sam explains. Trish sighs.

"Okay, I can do that," she says. He touches her shoulder comfortingly.

"Really, you're being an amazing friend," he murmurs. "I know how hard this can be on you."

"I'm really not, though," Trish mutters, "being amazing, that is. I'm mad at her all the time."

"You can't be too hard on yourself. When someone you love is so trapped in her experiences, its normal for you to get angry with her."

"I've been awful, though," Trish whispered. "The other day I told her she needed to control herself better. Who says that?"

"You're coming to help her. That's the best thing you could do. You know her. Now you just need to learn how to reach her again," Sam promises. Trish looks down at her hands again, a tear rolling down her cheek. She feels like a cliche.

"Sometimes I wish I had the old her back. Before --this. Does that make me awful?"

"It makes you human. But she's the same person though; she's just grown an exoskeleton. And her wounds will heal. The scars that they leave will allow for a new person to bloom." Trish chuckled.

"You are poetic," she muttered through her tears. Sam embraced Trish, holding her tight for one quick moment before letting her go.

"I try," he murmured.


End file.
